Skins: Fire - Part Three
by BrittanaBandit
Summary: Part Two absolutely ruined everything, all I can do is write this in the hopes it offers a little more closure. One-shot, post Part Two.


_Right so we're all in agreement that Skins: Fire was fucking awful so I thought I'd write a one shot and try and at least make it more 'Naomily' and offer some closure._

The constant beep coming from the machine next to you gave me some peace as I stood in the doorway, _"she's dying." _ kept echoing in my head as I tried to let Effy's words sink in, I must of stood there and watched you sleep for longer than I realized because before I knew it my legs were stiff and Effy wasn't outside anymore.

I crept in the sheets beside you, maybe if I held onto you tight enough and wished hard enough I could take us back to when things were okay and then I traced your cheek and stroked what was left of your once thick hair and it suddenly occurred to me that you were really, really_ fucking_ sick.

I didn't realize I was crying but it must of been loud enough to wake you because by the time I dried my eyes enough to see out of them again I found your lazy smile beaming back at me.

"Merry Christmas Ems" you whispered as you squeezed my hand, I was so terrified of hurting you that I couldn't bring myself to squeeze your hand back; then you looked at me with that sad, lost_ fucking _puppy look and I just couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me Naomi, why wouldn't you let me be here for you? I'll never forgive myself for that" I sobbed as my body shook in your arms, my face pressed into your stomach as you stroked my hair and hushed my whimpers.

"You are my everything Emily." You whispered as you gently stroked my back, I don't know if you were just being tender or if you were just too weak to be anything other than featherlight but I'd like to think it was the former.

"And I promised that I would never, ever hurt you again. I thought that I could beat this and we'd live happily ever after and maybe I'd tell you if it ever came up on an insurance policy form or something and you'd be angry at me for a few days and you'd hate me for not telling you at the time, but it wouldn't matter because I'd be alive and we'd be together and maybe we'd even have kids or a house or god knows fucking what."

You breathed a deep sigh as your voice wavered, your eyes watering as you pressed my knuckles to your hollow cheek "But then they said there was nothing they could do and part of me wanted to not tell you anything and just hurry up and die so then I'd never have to see you heartbroken again... because I'm a fucking coward like that." you cried.

I crawled back up to your side and held you in my arms, your fragile body curling into my own and my stomach flipped at how bony and thin you'd gotten since I last held you. "You're not a coward Naomi, I'm here now and I'm not going to leave your side, okay? New York can wait, I'm going to call them in the morning and sort everything."

You gripped my hand harshly tight and your defiant gaze met my own "no you won't,

you've worked too hard to give up now. You're going to spend Christmas with me, go back to New York and move on with your life. I promised you I wouldn't hurt you again and I don't want you to sit by and watch me waste away and die."

I pulled back slightly, my mouth hung open slightly as I tried to process what it was you were suggesting "jobs come and go but you're the love of my life, do you not understand that? There will never be another you, there will never be another Naomi Campbell, we will never go to Bali again and get drunk on the beach, we're never going to get married, your mum is never going to make our kids recycled, fair trade, organically sourced teddy bears and I'm never going to get this time back, I'm never going to hold your hand in the airport and kiss you goodbye again." I started to sob again as you pulled me in tightly and didn't let go, your embrace distracting me from thinking about all the things we'd never get to see or do again.

You played with my hair and rubbed my back until I calmed down, before starting to grow tired again with me in your arms "you make it sound as if I'm dying Emily." You whisper before drifting back asleep.

Two months had passed and sometimes I tried to convince myself that you were either staying the same or even getting better, the doctors released you weeks ago and at first I thought it was great news, if you weren't in hospital then that must mean you're getting better. I was dealt another blow that left me sobbing uncontrollably when you told me they had let you go home to die in peace.

Effy gave us the keys to her footballers wives-esque penthouse, I guess she knew she wouldn't really have much use for them in prison. I visit her as much as I can and take letters and photos from you, sometimes she cries and sometimes she sits there and doesn't say anything at all. I'm scared that when I lose you Effy won't be able to cope and I'll lose her as well, I'll never forgive her for taking so much precious time away from me with you but I'll never stop loving her either.

Luckily she was granted bail whilst we wait for her trial so she came home a few days short of February, I knew you must of gotten a lot worse since Christmas because when she saw you her face went an ashy pale and her hand didn't seem to leave yours.

I did ask her to stay, I knew you didn't have long left even though I didn't want to admit it and I wanted you to be surrounded by love and memories when you _left._ She wasn't having it though, she said you'd just want to be with me and as much as I didn't want to admit it part of me knew she was right.

You asked your family and friends not to visit you, it hurt more than you will ever _fucking _know having to call your Mum up and fill her in on 'Naomi Death Watch.' I still haven't forgiven you for it but part of knows it was for the best, I don't think your Mum wanted to see you in pain and suffering. I know you wanted people to just remember you the way you were and not the way you are now but it didn't make it hurt any less having to talk to those people as if you were dead already and listen to them talk about how much they missed you.

They'll **never** miss you the way I do Naoems.

another month had passed and spring had nearly started to break, we sat on the balcony whilst you smoked a spliff that you were too ill to roll whilst you beamed to me that you got to see winter turn into spring once last time.

My heart shattered, we're not supposed to be talking about last times, we're supposed to be having sex in the middle of Hyde park, or skinny dipping in freezing cold lakes, we're supposed to be talking about how we'll die together in sixty years and the poor neighbours will find us naked in bed scissoring. "We died, as we lived." you would say before bursting into giggles and dancing around the living room with me but instead here we are, taking small victories over seeing another sunrise and holding on frayed nerves every time you pause in your sleep while taking another breath.

It was a few weeks after that we found you'd taken a turn for the worse the nurses did everything they could to make you more comfortable but it didn't make it hurt any less when they took me aside and told me that time was running out and you probably wouldn't live much longer. Nothing seemed to pull you out of the foggy haze that had started to set in, your words becoming far and few inbetween.

Once or twice I wondered if you still knew who I was, it was almost as if you could read my mind because you'd look at me and whisper about visiting our lake one last time before you went, I knew it was too late for that but I smiled optimistically anyway and told you what a great idea it was.

We curled together in bed that night and I think you knew it was time, you laid your head on my chest and stared at me intently through half cracked eyes as if you were fighting away the deepest of sleeps. I smiled at you and stroked the brown hair that had grown through since you stopped your chemo.

"Go to sleep." I whispered as I gently rubbed circles on your thin and fragile shoulder.

"I don't think I'm going to wake up this time." You almost inaudibly whispered as a few tears broke down your cheeks.

I could see you were frightened, like a cornered animal as your breathing deepened and you tried to fight the ever growing tiredness away with the last dregs you had left in you.

"Sh baby, you don't have to fight anymore. Just relax." I hushed you as I gently rocked you in my arms, your skin steadily growing greyer as you somehow managed to raise your hand off my chest and trace my cheek.

"Kiss me like we're seventeen again." You managed to whisper as you fought to keep your eyes focused on me.

Tears found their way down my cheeks as I placed the tenderest of kisses on your lips, so gently and fragile but for a second I felt like we were seventeen and in your bedroom just one last time.

"What do we do Emily?" you whimpered through quiet, broken breaths as I held you to my chest.

I felt you relax in my arms as I started to rock you again and smile, "What we do normally only more aggressively, with _oils_ and stuff."

I felt you try and laugh but your body wouldn't let you, it broke my heart as I suddenly realized I was never going to hear you laugh again, then it dawned on me how _fucking _sad a place the world was going to be without your laughter to cheer it up.

"I love you Ems, you were pretty fucking wonderful" you whispered.

I whimpered as I kissed your forehead as your eyes began to close and your voice grew lower.

"You were the one, you changed me for the better." you croaked as I moved to the side of you and cradled you just like we normally slept. I just didn't want you to be afraid anymore.

"I'll never stop loving you, go to sleep babe. I'll be here in the morning when you wake up." I held you tight knowing this was the last time I'd speak to you, I cried into you as I felt your breathes grow shorter and further apart.

"I'll see you in another life, when we are both cats Emily Fitch."

I quietly called for the nurse as you drifted asleep, I listened to each one of the breathes leave your chest until you started to struggle, I put my arms around you and kissed the side of your neck and whispered how much I loved you and that you didn't have to fight anymore.

By the time the nurses came you were already gone, they let me hold you for a few hours and in all honesty it was pretty nice being able to hold you tight and lie on your chest like I used to before you got ill and not worry you were silently in agony.

It was the first and last time I held you in four months and didn't worry about anything, I almost knew you were at peace.

We had you cremated as per your request, you would've been pretty happy with the way we celebrated your life, Effy, your Mum and me drove down to our lake to spread your ashes, we sat by the waters edge and smoked a spliff and talked about all the things you did that made you, well, you.

You'll also be happy to know that it's illegal to spread cremains in public recreational areas. That was your last act and how you'll always be remembered Naoems. _Free._


End file.
